Bessie-isms and Quotables for Feb. 22 & 23, 2014


*If you yearn for someone, and they reject you, do not harden your heart or quit looking for someone to love. A fisherman who only tries to catch one fish  in the ocean will likely go hungry! There are more fish; keep fishing!

*The most wonderful companion you might have, is one who refrains from saying, “I told you so,” when your choice turns out badly.


Grace is needed to turn a man into a saint, and he who doubts this does not know what a saint or a man is.


Duct Tape for the Soul for Feb. 22 & 23, 2014

Stop Putting Yourself Down!

Are you one of those souls who go around, knocking yourself? You know what I mean; the person who says, Say, I’m not so bad for a moron, (fat person, retard, loser, flake…you fill in the blank). That is a pathetic attempt to pre-empt anyone else from putting them down.  The reason it’s foolish is simple; the more you declare a thing, the more likely people are to notice and agree with you!

Now aside from trying to get ahead of someone, and invalidate or lesson the impact of a potential put down, there’s likely an angle of compliment fishing going on. Insecure people do this constantly. Question: “Is my butt too big?”  Hoped for answer: “No sweety, its so cute and yuummy!” My ex wife did that, until one day, not focused, I replied a bit too honest, and said, “Yep, looks like the hood of a new Kenworth.” She didn’t find that honesty as much fun, and frankly, neither did I. Divorces are pricey.

Now begging for compliments is sort of shabby, and you’d be regarded better if you’d just act decent, and let people see you being worthy of compliments. Sure, you hate risking that, because you don’t believe you deserve to be complimented! That’s also why you put yourself down. But understand this; your constant carping about your flaws (real or imagined), only makes people more inclined to notice or to believe you have them! You don’t want to lie, but you aren’t obligated to engage in self loathing under the guise of “being Honest” either.

One of the first rules of life is this; don’t call attention to your flaws, failings or weaknesses. Don’t lie about them, just shut up and don’t call attention to them. Most people are too nice to say anything, even if they notice your issue. But once you declare your small boobs or huge behind to be a worthy subject, you can bet you’ll get lots of unwanted commentary about whatever it is!

We’ve all got flaws. Weaknesses. Embarrassing problems. Things we just don’t like or we despise about our bodies, souls, lives or what have you. Calling attention to them isn’t all that smart. Stop it! You’re not only bringing more disparagement onto your self, you’re begging for more bad karma.  You probably aren’t that qualified to be judging yourself in the first place either, since you aren’t very objective.

I had a friend in college. Cutest girl, georegous eyes, fabulous rear end, great personality, smart and wonderful. Small boobs. Hated having small boobies. Saved up her money, and had huge implants put in. Met and married a nice guy. Then he finally got around to telling her he hated big boobs, loved small ones. That’s some nasty karma! You get my point?

Look, its terrible to have others put you down and abuse you over anything. Its a whole lot dumber and sad for you to be the source of all that abuse! There will always be mean people to say nasty things to hurt you. How about you stop adding to the problem? If you can’t love yourself, and be supportive of you, how do you expect anyone else to care? Work on that! It pays some nice dividends. I know, I overcame the same wicked tendency, but was saved by a cute girl, who kicked my butt one night, for offhandedly putting myself down.  She changed my entire life! What an angel! Well, she was until she dumped me!


Duct Tape for the Soul for Feb. 21, 2014

Rejecting Fear

What do you fear? Are you afraid your friends will stop liking you, will abandon you? Think they might suddenly gossip behind your back, or mock you? Are you afraid your family and loved ones will tire of you and stop caring? What about the people you work with? Are they trying to undermine you and get you fired? Maybe you’re afraid you’ll be laid off, and lose your livelyhood, your career? What about your old age? Terrified you’ll wind up in a death camp nursing home, or that you’ll be broke, and die, living under a bridge?

Do you trust your spouse or significant other? Think they might be cheating. Think they will sooner or later? Is there anything you’re sure of, that seems reliable? Honestly, you are wading in quicksand! There is literally no end to what you might be justified in being afraid of. Sorry, life is pretty undependable in many ways.

But understand this; you aren’t living, if you’re ruled by fears. What’s the biggest one? That you might drop dead tomorrow, with no hint of warning? You’re terrified of losing out on even a minute of life, aren’t you? The funny and perverse thing is this; you are already immortal. Your body may go away, but your soul merely goes on to the next round. You’ve lived dozens of lives already, and you’re doomed to live dozens more. The better you actually live, the fewer it will take for you to get where you need to go, but there’s no limit on how many chances you get to make progress.

So why are you living in fear? There will be no shortage of life, just lots of possible incarnations of it. Eternal is a very long time, in case you’re wondering. You’ve got lots to accomplish. Sitting in fear, afraid of things that may not happen is even more pointless than worring about things that are sure to come. Stop fretting and start living! Faith is the antidote to fear. Fear is the handmaiden of the darkness. Understanding your place in creation will banish your fears, and set you free. Free to live and free to love.

Tell me, doesn’t that sound more worthy than sitting in the dark, being terrified of living? If you learn nothing else, learn this. You will be made to be free.


Bessie-isms and Quotables for Feb. 20, 2014


*You are embarrassed when you get caught lying. You would be a much better person if you were embarrassed when you told the lie, not just when you are apprehended!

*If someone is drowning, a pithy lecture about the dangers of water is ill advised. At least save them first, so they will be alive to hear your succinct criticism!


Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls, and looks like work.

Thomas Edison

Duct Tape for the Soul for Feb. 20, 2014

On Being Obligated to Forgive

When someone you truely love does something truely awful, betraying your trust or cheating on you, you will be utterly crushed. Your sense of devestation will be immense and unavoidable. You’ll also want to find something equally wicked to do to get back at them, for being so evil! Care to guess how wrong that response is?

If the other party has no remorse, you’ll really be put to the test, as this is a wicked insult, a slap to the face with a gauntlet, summoning you to battle! Faced with an un-repentant partner or close associate, the urge for retribution will call to you strongly. You know you should resist, not wanting to commit your own act of evil, or to drag your soul through the mud of moral vindictiveness, but it’s so hard not to!

Even worse, if the other party actually confessed their nastiness, their sin and dishonesty or cheating, you’re confronted with the choice to rise up and forgive them, or to be mean and vicious, and deny their plea. Do they seem sincere, in their desire to atone, to redeem themselves? True love demands, will tolerate only one choice as proper; you must allow them the chance to make amends. You are obligated by higher things to give them that chance!

In truth, you need to do so for an even simpler reason; eventually, you’ll do something wicked and stupid, and be in need of forgiveness too! You can count on it! Would you wish to be accorded a second chance? I’d bet you would. Not being willing to give that chance to another is a surefire way to guarantee that when you need a break, it won’t be forthcoming.  Bad karma is a drag, as you’ve probably experienced.

Love can be a harsh taskmaster on your heart and soul, requiring you to reach far beyond your comfort zone, in the name of forgiveness. Struggling to reach this lofty place, to touch a bit of the Divine, helps your soul to stretch and grow. In case it’s not occured to you yet, that is the main reason you’re alive and on this old ball of rock in the first place!



Duct Tape for the Soul for Feb. 19, 21014

Who Are You?

One of the most fundamental things you need to succeed in life is easy to name, but otherwise hard to do. That is simply to believe in yourself. You aren’t progressing, aren’t evolving your soul, aren’t accomplishing much without this. The problem you bump into, when you try to have faith in yourself is that first you have to have some idea about who or what you are!

Your entire childhood was a journy of exploration, as you discovered the world around you. Meanwhile, you were building your mind and heart, trying to equip yourself to live life in a functional manner. Too many people apparently are lazy or inattentive, and just scab a bunch of random stuff together, sort of like a horder crossed with a pack rat.

Then what? Then you’re stuck spending time trying to make sense out of what you’ve built! It’s no wonder so manny people seem to have built themselves from conflicting and incompatible parts! Not very helpful, especially if you have dreams of accomplishing something!

You’ve met some of these folks, who seem crazy in a zany, conflicted fashion, if you aren’t one yourself. Nothing seems to work right, and they wander aimlessly around, lost and often miserable. Counselors eventually give up in dispair, confronted by such a mish-mosh of conflicts and misery.

Face it, if you built a house as badly as most of you construct your being, you’d have a thousand rooms, half with neither doors nor windows, twenty bathrooms with no toilets, the roof under the house, and the basement on top! Well, thank God you’re not a house! But you’ve still got problems, mostly steming from the fact that you have no idea who you are, no idea how you got to where you are, and even less insight about what to do to have a better life.

Might I make a suggestion? Your first task is to figure out who you really are. That means spending time alone, no TV, no music, no computer, just you alone and free from the ceaseless chatter you hide behind. Then ask yourself, “Who am I? What do I want? What are my dreams? What do I care about and who do I love?” Don’t take no for an answer and keep doing it until you can actually answer the questions! Once you have that, you can go to step two. We’ll talk about that later, once you solve this puzzle!


Duct Tape for the Soul for Feb. 18, 2014

Not Lying to Yourself

If you’re a typical human, neither Saint nor lofty sage, you do a lot of lying. You lie to avoid conflict, lie to avoid making friends and family mad at you. You lie to avoid telling the truth, which embarrasses you or will cause you to miss out on fun and good things. You lie to the cop, hoping to avoid a ticket, lie to your boss to avoid getting yelled at, lie to your significant other, so you won’t have to do without sex for six months.

You lie to people you are close to, or worse, you lie to people you barely know, wanting them to think you’re nicer, smarter, cooler, sexier or richer than you are. You lie by telling complete untruths, lie by stretching the truth, lie by ommiting embarrassing or nasty things about your doings. You’d hate to admit how good you are at lying, but you are, since you get so much practice at it. But guess who you tell the worst lies to? That’s right, yourself!

Why do you lie to yourself? Are you really kinky enough to paddle your own butt for lying to yourself? When was the last time you punished yourself for being honest with you? Crazy, right? So why do you lie nonstop to your own face? Oh, sure, being honest about what a turd you’ve been can be embarrassing. So can being honest to yourself when you’ve been crappy to someone you love or care about. Hate that, don’t you?

So answer me this; how do you expect to ever be a better human, to evolve your soul into a better being, if you’re never honest? Your lies let you slide by, un-repentent and unimproved. I’m just tossing a crazy thought out, but wouldn’t you like to be a better person, one that doesn’t have to lie to hide crappy things from yourself, because you aren’t doing crappy things?!  Wow, how novel and exciting!

This is the essence of self-improvement. Stop lying to yourself. Admit your failings to at least yourself. Confessing them to others is really scary, but it does wonders for making you more motivated to improve too.  But one thing at a time. Pitch a tent here, at ground zero. Start being honest with you!  Admiting them will make you miserable for a time, but will make you want to fix yourself too. That’s the goal.

By the way, being honest with God is good too. You likely lie lots to Him too, which is pretty silly; He already knows all your foolishness and lies. He’d like you to know them too! And improve them. Everyone else you know would be thrilled to have the new, improved version of you too. But no one will be more proud than you! Get busy.