*If you expect people to cater to you, you are doomed to be disappointed. Most humans can’t even manage to take care of themselves, let alone another, like you.
*Humans are the only animal that won’t escape even when there’s no door on their cage, preferring habit to the insecurity of freedom.
The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.
Some debts are harder to ignore than others. Make sure you really understand who you owe what to.
*Apparently junk multiplies in darkness. Put one thing in a closet or drawer, and when you next check, the space will be full!
*A man may if he chooses, argue with a female at any time. However if the imagines he will win, he should be taken in for psychiatric attention by his friends immediately.
Between twenty five and thirty five you’re too young to do anything well. After thirty five you’re too old.
Say what you will, but at least a horse didn’t have computer widgets to cause it to stop dead on your way somewhere.
*There are two kinds of people: those who look at their poop, and critique it, and those who flush without looking and run away.
*when you spot dirt you missed while cleaning, the odds are you’ll kick it under something rather than get the broom or vacuum out again.
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how is is, tells you. Bert Leason Taylor
However many problems you have, “drinking your problems away” will add one more to the total.
*Few leftovers are improved by aging in a fridge.
*The dog may be smarter than humans; when their butthole itches, they just drag it on the ground to scratch that itch. Humans will wiggle, dance, clench or do a number of other completely useless things rather than just being direct and scratching that evil itch.
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
Anyone can learn to read. The art is in learning not to read too much into what you’re reading, but still be able to read between the lines.
*Genetic engineering will have arrived when they can produce a purple cow with pink polka dots.
*You do understand how much easier your life would have been if you’d have simply listened to your parents advice?
It is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
The rain washes away many regrets, and helps hide your tears.