Bessie-isms:

*It matters not at all that you hit your thumb with a hammer on accident or deliberately, the pain is the same. So it is with the doing of evil; motivation, intent or accident yield the same wickedness.

*Leftovers have a half life like nuclear waste; each day those uneaten are on half as likely to be eaten as they were the day before.

Quotable:

He gave her a look you could have poured on a waffle.

Ring Lardner