Bessie-isms:

*If you have to pretend to your significant other that you never fart, you aren’t honest enough or in any way ready to marry.

*Never volunteer unsolicited advice. If asked, give them your absolute  best advice, then shut up, especially if they ignore it. You’ll have your chance to say I told you so later.

Quotable:

Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.

Oscar Wilde