Bessie-isms:
*I suspect that more people have near death experiences at home than in the hospital. Especially when looking at the bill.
*Tell your mother you love her. If you must lie to do so, make it a convincing one; you owe her that much for not drowning such an ungrateful child as you.
Quotable:
One can endure sorrow alone, but it takes two to be glad.
Elbert Hubbard