Bessie-isms:

*I suspect that more people have near death experiences at home than in the hospital. Especially when looking at the bill.

*Tell your mother you love her. If you must lie to do so, make it a convincing one; you owe her that much for not drowning such an ungrateful child as you.

Quotable:

One can endure sorrow alone, but it takes two to be glad.

Elbert Hubbard