Category Archives: Daily Duct Tape

Duct Tape for the Soul for October 1, 2014

We Still Have Prostitutes?

How is this possible? Our wonderful hippie free love experiment was supposed to make such a thing unnecessary! Everybody was supposed to have easy sex, when ever and where ever they so desired. Naturally, like all grand social utopian ideas, it went right down the drain. Beautiful people did okay, but our less attractive? Sorry, you’re dating your hand.

Even worse, the upheavels have made people into emotive basket cases. Have you dated some of what’s out there? Dear God, who wants to sleep with crazy people, neurotic and insecure? You start dating, and hit two or three of these in a row, you’ll become a monk! Men seem quite naturally inclined to simply pay cash for sex. Men don’t require deep emotional connectivity to get laid. Names are optional too. Women seem to have a few more scrupples, or are daunted by the lack of male prostitutes! That doesn’t meant they’re all that happy, however.

The sad truth is this; we’re so confused and screwed up, men and women alike have no real idea how to be , well, men and women! I know, you ladies wanted men to be more emotive and sensitive, something like a cross between Fabio and a nice gay hairstylist. What you got is a bunch of trolls, too afraid to be men, and unwilling to be something else. Don’t laugh; half of you women have no clue what being female requires either! You end up being a cross between a gay hairdresser and an angry dock worker.

You should have figured out that men are not easily trainable by now. Have you? Our old roles managed to get the human race through a million years of evolution, but now we’re a mess. Men would, by and large, like to please you, and have you be happy. When you don’t know what that is, he’s screwed. You aren’t doing any better about pleasing him either, which is why the average relationship last three days now. Even when we occasionally do talk, we speak such an incomprehensibly different language, that neither sex has a clue about the other. This needs work, and if we don’t all die off, maybe in a century or two we’ll figure it out?


Duct Tape for the Soul for October 15, 2014

Celebrities Are….

Pathetic, annoying, obnoxious, overpaid, lacking in talent, morals, judgement, class. If you pay any attention to them you’ll likely wonder how the even stay out of jail or employed. Apparently money does buy happiness or at least helps avoid the consequences of being a total moron!

Now you can’t blame all the terrible movies on them, unless they also directed or produced the doggy film, or made a record that sounds like five cats being crushed in a garbage truck. There’s plenty of guilt to go around. What you can blame them for is their elitist, condescending arrogance! And most of them are just ozzing that. They tell you what you should drive (to save the planet) or eat (to let you be cool and live forever).

They tell you how bright and smart they are to give money to some obscure charity in some unpronouncable foreign country. They think a lot of themselves as they squander enough money on jet fuel and handbags to feed half a million starving people for three years. I find that annoying, and supremely hypocritical. If they did all of it in private, it would be avoidable, but holding twenty news conferences to display themselves and their pseudo-charity or with-it-ness just hacks me off. Sorry, it just does.


Duct Tape for the Soul for October 14, 2014

Most Wish They Too Could Be Vain

You’ve probably met more than one person who was vain. Lots of celebrities certainly are, and many people of exceptional attractiveness are afflicted with this. You’d rather die than admit how much you’d like to be able to have something to be vain about. Great looks, a supper pair of boobs, toned abs. Looking around, you don’t see much justification for that do you?

Of course, that doesn’t stop the worst offenders from being vain. I’ve seen people so ugly, a toad would run from them and they were quite vain. Some people become vain in their youth, when they were a lot hotter, and just can’t admit that all those pounds and stretch marks have ended that era! It’s funny, in a sad, pathetic way.

A few people apply their vanity to their imagined eloquence or smarts, usually unjustifiably so. Just like most vain people aren’t all that hot, they aren’t too bright or witty either! Lots of bores and dullards are vain, which says a lot about how imaginative they are! Honestly, there’s a fine line between being pleased with one’s self, and being full of it!

I knew a girl back in collage, for whom two bandaids were excessive as a bra. She paid the money for a nice pair of d-cup boobies, and thought she was a goddess. She quit hanging around losers like me and my friends, and went after a doctor! None of them could stand her new found vanity, and she married a building maintenance man. Me and all my “loser” friends are well off professionals now, but she’s still vain. You wish you had an excuse to be too, don’t you?!


Duct Tape for the Soul for October 13, 2014

Should You Trust Your Own Heart?

You know you aren’t all that reliable or honest with yourself, don’t you? Come on, admit it. We all lie to ourselves, all pretend that we’re more forthright and reliable than we are. We’re doing good not to be sleazy weasels some days. We hate admitting that, lie even more to cover it up, but the facts are pretty unavoidable.

Now being dishonest with yourself wouldn’t be so bad, but it does make it a lot harder to be honest with others. All that effort to camoflage your lies and flaws carries over into your affairs with others. We act like no one would put up with us if we were honest, but that’s foolish: they manage to put up with us being a shifty weasel! There’s no real reason to assume they would hate us worse if we were actually honest, especially about who we are!

The most insideous problem with your constant dishonesty is that you erode you ability to trust others. If you can’t trust your heart, you likely won’t trust anyone else either! We mostly use ourselves as a yardstick, and when that’s a crooked, unreliable tool, everything and everyone else looks the same. This is why improving yourself and your level of honest interaction is so worthwhile. It also works to keep you from getting your butt beat so often, but that’s a side benefit!


Duct Tape for the Soul for October 9, 2014

You’re Mad About The Small Things

Ever consider how you went from the excited state of bliss you had when first married, or at the beginning of a relationship, to the crabby, miserable annoying state of dysfunction that you have now? Unless one of you got caught with a hooker or underaged tart, you likely didn’t go off the rails in one huge leap. You’ve been nibbled to death by ducks!

That’s right, it’s the small annoying daily things that have driven you two apart. Chores, bad habits, dirty clothes, the toilet seat, farting under the covers…you’re bleeding to death from a thousand small cuts! If you’re fighting over the big things, religion, kids, where you live, money and lifestyle, you simply failed to be honest or open up front. But few people succumb to these huge things. It’s the dirty undies and old banana peels that miss the trash that make you two lose your mind!

Naturally, you could just laugh and shrug it off, but it’s more fun to get mad and scream, apparently. You end up feeling like every small annoyance is a well thought out plot to undermine your peace and tranquality. And so, you yell and fight. It shouldn’t shock you to know that you end up looking for things to be offended about, to justify your misery and anger. You’re too lazy to man up and try to be reasonable. You get to regret that eventually, after being hosed by a sleazy divore attorney. Acting like an adult is a lot smarter, but will you try? Just a suggestion.


Duct Tape for the Soul for October 8, 2014

The End And The Beginning

Sometime during a woman’s first pregnancy, she has a revelation. Whether she is thrilled or appalled, she none the less is changed by it. What derails her concept of self, and puts and end to what came before is the understanding, that henceforth, at least in this lifetime, she will be forever more a mother. Even should her child die untimely, she will still be a mom.

The reality of this is often quite amusing or at least enlightening. A woman can’t fully embrace her new role, and still remain a child herself. That many do try, is sadly testified to by the daily news. Yet to properly shoulder her new obligation, she must rise up, and accept that for her, childood is firmly over. One can’t properly husband one of God’s souls without doing so.

A woman usually confronts this, sometime afer her belly starts to swell, and the tap dancing of the growing child on her bladder becomes steadily harder to ignore. Men may also face a crisis of understanding, but it will never be the same or as personal to them. Bearing the child leaves a deep and permenant mark on a woman’s heart and soul. You’d honestly be wise to do your growing up before you reproduce, but many try to avoid this, and then scramble, trying to stay one step ahead of their growing child. You’d be wise to consider this more deeply, as there’s no returning one of God’s soul to him. At least not without getting your own soul fried!


Duct Tape for the Soul for October 7, 2014

You Build A Pyrimid One Stone At A Time

I’ve had many friends cause themselves fits, mostly from taking too big of bites in life. They get an idea, vision or dream, and leap whole hog into the fray, wanting to accomplish it in one fell swoop. It usually ends badly, as they get overwhelmed and discouraged instantly, and give up. They usually blame someone or something else for their failure, which is the funny and ironic part.

Most undertakings, especially the good and the grand ones are not easily doable on short notice. They require wise planning, and steady effort. Life in general isn’t a forty yard dash, it’s much more of a marathon. Becoming educated, learning a new trade, getting over your addictions and folly, none are a two day project. Yet time and time again, people pretend they are, and either burn out, or quit in despair.

Building things takes a lot of effort, and a zillion small operations, conducted in a steady, orderly fashion. The wisest person spends more time preparing than actually doing. President Lincoln once said that if he had eight hours to chop down a tree, he’d spend the first six, sharpening his ax! There’s a reason we venerate his wisdom. You’d look a lot smarter if you’d do more planning and less desperate doing. Too many people waste their time and energy back tracking or starting over, after going down in flames from an all or none fiasco. Just give that some thought, before you run off to attack your next project.


Duct Tape for the Soul for October 6, 2014

Really? You Walked Five Miles To School?

The greatest generation was fond of telling the boomers how hard their life was, when they were children. If that made them so fabulous, then why didn’t they resist the urge to spoil the boomers? We walked five miles through snow, we had to get up at four a.m. to milk the cow, we had to put cardboard in our shoes when they wore out, we heard them all. Now the boomers have repeated that crap, telling their kids how hard their lives were, living without cable or computers, and (God forbid) no cell phones. Boo hoo.

Their kids will be just as whiny and spoiled, complaining how tough they had it, having to use their thumbs to text all day long, assuming we get good voice recognition software soon. Frankly, I’d be inclined to call everyone a whiner and move on. Times change. Technology advances. If we don’t blow up the planet, or get hit by a killer astroid, we’ll likely keep coming up with nifty new things, that cost more, but let us be even lazier than the past generations were.

What concerns me is how much our technology seems to be eroding our human connections. Phone calls, texts and all that are a terrible substitute for real face to face human interaction. It gets easier to communicate, but harder to touch a real human. Having everyone living in a small cubicle, watching internet porn sending meaningless texts and cat videos to each other isn’t my idea of progress. What about you? Do you even get hugged by anyone anymore? Maybe we need to edit some things out, and get back to basics. I’d certainly rather have a naked partner sitting on my lap, than to be alone watching cat videos. You with me?


Duct Tape for the Soul for October 4 & 5, 2014

Are You A Prisoner?

You may be living as a prisoner, even though you see no bars, no prison cell. Lots of humans are. They’re prisoners to the intangible but all too real things, the negative aspects of life. They are prisoners of ignorance, to their lack of understanding, to their emptiness. They sit in a corner of their invisible cell, refusing not only to admit they are imprisoned, but unwilling to get up and search for a door.

There’s always a door. Why not look for it? You likely already hold the key to it in your hand! Honestly, the door isn’t even locked. It’s held shut by your laziness, your apathy, your lack of faith, both in yourself and in God. You may also lack the faith that you deserve to be free. Someone made you afraid to be free, afraid to find the door. Do you know who that was?

Look, you deserve to be free, deserve to be happy, and to have a life filled with worth and meaning. Your soul is no bargain outlet store second; God only creats one type of human soul, and yours is as much worthy of attaining sainthood as any. God never wanted you to be a prisoner, never once told you that you are undeserving.

You and the rest of us have the same Divine rights as all others. The church that taught that humans are dirt is a lying, godless church. You are a child of God like all others. Now how about you get off your butt and act like it? Look for the door, and free yourself first. You’ll get something else to do from God after you do that. Trust me, you just will.


Duct Tape for the Soul for October 3, 2014

What Sort Of Neighbor Might You Prefer?

When someone’s house catches fire, a crowd always gathers. Usually  one or two will make an effort to determine if everyone is out or not. The others will stand and watch, oohing and ahing over the spectacle, gossiping and wondering how bad it might turn out. Naturally, the ones standing around aren’t actually evil, unless they set the fire, or are roasting weenies while the residents burn to death. They are just not highly motivated to do or act in the face of necessity.

Which sort, the doers or the watcher, whould you like to have next to you? You’d hope that someone close is a doer, yes? But what sort are you? Would you risk yourself, even a bit for a neighbor, or would you be wishing you had some hot dogs and a bun, while granny or the kids toasts?  Not that simple or fun to consider, is it? Here’s a thought; if you want to have great neighbors, perhaps you’d be wise to be a great neighbor?

I know, that sounds risky or at best bothersome. You’d rather be watching TV, being a spectator to live instead of a doer of life. You’re pretty much doomed to be one or the other, and it does matter both to your soul, and to God which you’re inclined to be. As a matter of fact, your life is pretty much and experiment, a trial to determine which you’re inclined to be, when the chips are down. You’d be wise to think about that more deeply, before the next disaster strikes you or your neighbor. Seriously.