Duct Tape for the Soul for August 27, 2014

Marriages Die From A Thousand Small Cuts

Ever wonder how two people go from the heights of matrimonial bliss to the equivilent of being snarling junk yard dogs? You see the wedding and honeymoon pictures, and there they are, two perfect love birds, gushing all over each other. Sometimes in mere months, they’re peeing on each other, and searching for a divorce lawyer. How can this be?

Oh, sure, you’d imagine it’s due to one of them cheating, or some other monumental faux pas of uber insensitivity, right? You’d be likely wrong! Probably a good ninety percent of disharmony is caused by the most insignificant things; unbalanced check books, slovenly habits regarding house keeping and the fart.

Why blame gas? Well, because. Women hate that men fart, and not just that they do so, but that they work hard to make such an effort unavoidable. At least women think men do so. I never met a woman yet who didn’t think that men save up such emmissions, just so they can emmit it at a poignant moment. Women do the same thing, but they make an effort to be discrete, (what men consider being sneaky).  Women hate that men work hard to maximize their gas clouds and eruptions, and eventually, they consider this a wicked, personal plot to annoy them. That means war!

All sorts of other petty things get magnified into being considered an act of war. The toilet seat has been a bone of contention since it was invented! Ditto dirty clothes tossed randomly around. Most men like seeing a woman’s cute lingerie tossed all over, but the opposite isn’t true. Ditto unwashed dishes, tools on the kitchen counter and a million other things. Each time one person gets annoyed by a repeat of an annoyance, the hate gets fed a bit more.

Eventually, the come to loath each other’s habits utterly! By now, each act that is despised becomes a new salvo in the ongoing war. Appologies don’t help, even breaking the offending habit may not save them by this time. Are most of these petty things? Of course they are, but try to convince someone of that! Especially a man who thinks a loud , wicked fart is a badge of manhood!

Jack

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