A Child’s Wants And Needs Are Two Unrelated Things
Children become masters of inflicting guilt on parents. They use this most assiduously when you tell them no, especially when they’re begging for something. Candy, toys, gadgets, fancy bike, new video game; it doesn’t matter what it is, how foolish or un-necessary, they will whine. And moan, cry, sigh mournfully, yell, have tantrums, slam doors and pretty much any other thing they think won’t get their butt beat off.
It doesn’t get better with age either, as anyone with a teenager knows. The snotty eyeroll, the snide and vicious muttering under their breath, always just loud enough for you to hear. They’ll break things too, especially yours, to get back at you for saying no. The embarrassing thing is that you did the same things when you were a child. Opps! Karma is nasty, isn’t it?
What you have to understand, (assuming you want to be responsible and raise decent kids), is that most times, they only think they need what they are begging for. Tell them they can earn it, by working extra or spending their own allowance on it, and you’ll never hear it mentioned again. Suprise! You did the same thing, admit it. Kids go through the motions, being crafty opportunists, eager to see what they can get away with.
Most of the time they don’t want whatever crap they’re whining for, they want you! Your time, your attention, your love! Most kids have way too much stuff, but are starving for you! You’re too busy, working like a slave to buy them crap they don’t need! Duh. Are you seeing something important here? Talk is cheap, but your kids are most in need of that! They need to understand the world, their family history, why you ended up with a job you hate. Sex, dating, life, love, it takes an endless amont of time to teach your kids these things. Five minutes of “quality” time now and then is a joke!
Your children need your love and approval most of all. Once they’ve become a bitter, estranged teen, it’s too late to get reacquainted. They beg for things to fill up the void you’ve created by not being close and meaningful. If you fail to instruct them, their foolish friends will! That never ends well. Say no to most of the begging, but say yes to the time needed. You’ll never regret time spent. Money spent on crap is just down the crapper.