Duct Tape for the Soul for May 16, 2014

A Fact About Teens

When your children are small, they think you are smarter than God. They also think you’ve got more money than Him too! It’s quite nice to be so admired, even if you know its not true. God knows it isn’t true, as do your friends and co-workers. They aren’t treating you much better most days than a small and dull rock.

Unfortunately, your children will eventually become teenagers. Suddenly you’ll be demoted to being dummer than a small stone. Even if you’re rich, you won’t be rich enough for them either, as they seek to spend more money than the federal governement squanders. Likely the only thing God related they’ll concede is that you’re older than God! Much older.

Don’t be disheartened or angry. Be patient. Eventually they will grow up. They will develop butt crack hair, and things will sag. They’ll also have kids, who will become teenagers, who will regard your former tormentors as dumb and old. Cheap and poor too! Right now, you can’t imagine how marvelous and thrilling that will be to witness! My oldest son was a royal pain, and he’s got a fifteen year old boy, and a thirteen year old daughter. You can’t imagine how much money I’d pay for ringside seats to watch what they’re giving him back! Can we all say, Uber Karma?

Remember this fact, and hold tight to it, as you make this wretched journey; You aren’t older than God. Your teens just make you feel older than God. A subtle but improtant difference. Good luck. You’ll need it.

Jack

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