Duct Tape for the Soul for May 7, 2014

Friendship Is More Than You Think

A lazy person will have few friends, since friendship requires effort. Or at best, they will have friends of a sort who only last until they tire of being used for nothing. Friendship requires effort and time. You can’t ignore a friend, especially when they need your love, help, time or guidence. Do so and you swiftly become an ex-friend!

Friends help each other. They also spend time with each other. This is why you can’t have a hundred real friends. You can have a hundred acquaintances, but friends no, unless you’re all independantly wealthy and have no other demands on your time. You’re honestly doing good to have two or three true friends. Ask yourself this; who would come down at three a.m. to get your butt out of jail? Not all that many, I’m willing to bet!

You don’t have real friends if you aren’t honest about who you are either. No one will cosy up to a fake image, a dishonest facade for longer than it takes to figure out you’re a lying weasel. Friendship requires sharing your real self, warts and all. If they can’t stand the real you, move on, they’ll never be friends. If you’d prefer to have friends who relate to the you that you’d like to pretend to be, you’re doomed to be mostly friendless.

Look, having a friend isn’t much different than having a spouse. Friendship is in fact a large portion of what defines a marriage, at least one not doomed to failure. You need the same honesty, openness, trust and closeness to be a good friend that you’d want in your marital relationship. You just don’t sleep with them. If you find yourself sleeping with a friend, congratulations! You’ve just moved to a newer level of friendship. Just stop pretending that you’re only friends!

Jack

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