Duct Tape for the Soul Mar. 22 & 23, 2014

Do You Actually Know Who You’re Sleeping With?

Explain to me how you can spend years living with someone, sleeping with them, having sex upon occasion, and still have not the least clue what they think and feel? You don’t find that amazing? Well, besides being tragic. How can it be that you don’t consider your partner your best friend, or even a friend at all? Does the term shallow relationship bring anything to mind, pray tell?

Now even if you’re someone who knows the complete history and all the details of your partner’s life, down to the time they accidentally farted while standing in the lunch line in second grade, I’d bet money you know at least one couple that has no clue about their other half. Worse, they not only don’t think of that person as a friend, they don’t even consider someone you sleep with as being friend material! But are you also one of them?

I hate to tell you this, but lots and lots of people simply use their partner as an animated love doll, perhaps one who also picks up the dry cleaning. Are you one of those people treated like this? Not much meaning or fun, is it? Why do you put up with it? Kids? Nice big house? Or maybe the sex is good enough that you think you can over look the shallowness and lack of friendship?

Well, here’s some bad news; the sex will eventually fall off, or you’ll complain, and that will be the end. If your partner has no better view of you than this, if you’re nothing but a whore, a servant, you’ll get traded in. People willing to be used are apparently a dime a dozen! You’ve never wondered why the celebrities, who are married to gorgeous, sexy people, why they end up screwing the homely maid? No depth, no friendship, it’s really that simple.

You need to be friends with your partner. To be friends, you need to know who they really are. You don’t get to that by sitting side by side, watching Springer or Dancing with the Stars; you learn that talking, often naked and close! The things you think will make up for not being friends aren’t going to get you where you want to go!

If you’re one of those who resist being friends with your spouse or lover, maybe you need to consider what you’re afraid of? Afraid you’ll lose a friend, as well as someone to sleep with, if it goes south? Guess what? It has a lot less chance of going down the crapper if you are friends! My furniture and tools are nice to use, but I don’t cry when they get lost! I’m a whole lot more partial to the friend I sleep with, I can assure you of that! Time to reconsider some things?

Jack

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