I generate a lot of writing that isn’t book related, nor is it in a form that works for any of my features. I’ve gots files filled with it, so this is a neat place to toss it out. If you like something, send me an email at:email@example.com and say so!
- An excuse for being lost, dreamily inattentive, or stupid acting.
- A reason to giggle and be silly.
- The cause of two people wasting hours staring into each other eyes.
- Something that will make an eighty year old act like a teenager.
- A state that results in much nudity and many births.
- A force that seems to be stronger than gravity.
- The key that opens the gates of heaven.
- The first step on the road to utter doom.
- A prison cell with no door that no one can walk out of.
- Something that can mask another’s flaws.
- The cure for the worst wounds.
- The thing that can inflict the worst wounds.
- A condition wherein you forget the past that existed before you were in love.
- A justification for making dumb and stupid decisions.
- A cure for your aches and pains.
- An excuse for co-habitation and premarital sex.
- The justification for most teen pregnancy.
- A way to understand God.
- Likely a punishment inflicted on us by God.
- The first step towards true maturity.
- The end of your innocence.
- An addiction that can’t be cured but only maintained.
- A reason for seeking mental health assistance.
- A fine way to end up broke
- An excuse when you can’t think of any other.
You Ladies Should See The Humor In This!
Here’s a couple of what I call Daily Duct Tape Pieces
You Can’t Buy Your Way to the Divine
This may shock you, if you are member of a church: the more money you give, the less likely you are to receive any spiritual guidance. Oh, you’ll still hear the touchy feely, non-denominational clichés and platitudes, the dogma and the pap. But your pastor isn’t going to get on your butt about your shady business dealings, the crappy, sinful way you live your life. He’s not going to tell you how wrong you’re living, what God’s word really means in your life, how awful of a person you are being. No.
I can hear you clamoring now…but why? Simple, that fancy building you congregate in has a big mortgage and it costs a lot of money to pay the bills. Your pastor can’t afford to tell you the truth, can’t smack you with the real word of God because he needs your money to help pay the bills. If he told you the truth about yourself, you’d get pissed off and go to some other fancy church where you could pretend to be saved, pretend to be holy. Debt has cut the balls off the Christian church and any other that falls into this trap. I know someone who is on the board of his church, a deacon. He’s also the crookedest, sleaziest car dealer in the area, a shyster and a thief. But he writes a very big check each month to his church, buying the illusion of salvation. And brother, he’s only getting the illusion. What about you?
Why Putting Things Off Is a Bad Idea
Have you ever had to dig through your dirty laundry, sniffing your dirty underwear to find the least offensive pair because you were too lazy to go do laundry when you should? Laugh at yourself… God certainly will. He won’t punish you for your sloth…at least for a while. But remember, your mother warned you about being prepared and wearing nice clean undies…just in case. What I want you to consider is this; do you manage all aspects of your life as poorly as you do your laundry? Do you put off calling your friends to say hi, do you neglect to say I love you to that special one? The penalty and punishment for neglecting these will be much worse than wearing stale panties. Laziness and neglect are habits, bad ones that may bear unexpectedly bad fruit when you are unprepared. Go on…do your laundry and while the clothes are drying, make some of the calls you’ve neglected. It’s like using fabric softener on your relationships.